Editor’s note : The Big Ten and Mountain West are back! But what does that mean for university football teams that are in the top ten all season]?
Inspiring thought of the week:
So I’m back in the game. Doing business to keep the momentum going. I’ll let everyone know I’m back to run the show.
The return of MAC… Come to
. MAC’s coming back… You know I’m coming back… Here I am,
. I’m bringing MAC back… …
MAC again… pump back the world
MAC… Watch out for my
feed. You know I’m coming back… I’m on my way.
— The return of Mac, Mark Morrison…
Here at Bottom 10’s headquarters, which is in Sam Hoody’s old abandoned record store, yes, we know very well that when Mark Morrison reached number two on the Billboard charts in the spring of 1996, he sang The Return of MACK. But it’s autumn 2020, and Mack Truck, who went into school football on Wednesday night with a full six (!) games, is a MAC without a K… unless you count the big blue Kent of the state.
If you don’t have the Bottom 10 Media Guide handy – and we know you don’t – because there’s only one copy and it’s currently being used to keep our table from rocking – then MACtion is home to the Bottom 10 champion defending Akronmonious, as well as Central Michigan, which runs in 2018. Last autumn, at least half of the ten smallest countries came from MAC. We remember that on the porch of our office we received an unmarked cardboard box containing the head of the mascot of West Michigan, Buster Bronco, and a note with the text: It resembles the scene of The Godfather.
Speaking of useless explanations, we are happy to see the return of MAC because we can finally feel whole again. And in general we’re talking about the pit, because at least some MAC teams will have dug the pit by the end of the games on Wednesday night.
With apologies to Connie Mac, Mac Brown and Miss Mary Mac, Mac, Mac in black, black and Steve Harvey, here’s this week’s Bottom 10…
1. ULM (expressed in Uhlm) (0-7)
The Hawks spent Halloween chasing a crazy old man from a mountain called Joseph, who lost 31 to 13 years in the Appalachian state. There are five more games in UhLM, and according to the mystically accurate FPI machine, the average chance of winning one of them is 11.4%. Moreover, the chance of that headache I have right now if I make FPI calculations is 99.6%.
2. Miss South (1-5)
In the past four weeks, the Golden Eagles have postponed two games, lost two games and had two different head coaches, so their head coach now has a total of three games. The second of those two losses came home on Saturday, when Rice pushed them back at 30:6. Rice was then the second team in the Bottom 10 and only played the second game of the season. Now the Golden Eagles are hosting Northern Alabama, the 0-2 FCS team they prefer with 16.5 points. If they lose, we will organize an emergency meeting of the selection committee to discuss the continuation of the last month of the season and go directly to the last 10 games of the 2020 season between ULM and USM (insert here the first average) of Mr. Megabowl.
3. unLv (0-2)
Fighting Tark played their first home game in Allegiant Stadium Roomba and could not close the gap with Nevada 37-19. Wolfpack would bring back the Fremont Gun trophy, but because the cast wasn’t mated, he was bought free for the Allegiant Stadium by a certain Joey Knuckles, who threatened to let the gun sleep with the fish … at the Mandalay Golf Shark Reef Aquarium.
4. Kansas Nyhox (0-6)
Speaking of wise men, they all had the wisdom to ride Lawrence’s boys this season. Rock chalk was chalk in the true sense of the word, because the 0-6 Jayhawks were also 0-6 in an attempt to cover a range, including the lower five by 17 points or more. They’re 37.5 points behind Oklahoma this week. The only distribution larger than this is on the bed of Darrell Simpson’s 6 foot 7 millimeter O lenses.
5. Club L supports you (1-1)
ATTENTION, CUSTOMERS. WE HAVE CORN AND BLUE LIGHT, ESPECIALLY FOR KHAKI IN AISLE FOUR IF YOU HAVE A PASSPORT FOR MICHIGAN OR OHIO, JUST GET IT BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAVE IT.
Fault! The file name is not specified. Joe Milton and Michigan got angry Saturday by the state of Michigan. Nic Antaya/Getty Images
6. Texas armadillos (1-7)
Last week we took the state of Texas off the list, but Lynx came back on the radar when they joined the ULM as the only team in the country with seven defeats. In addition, several members of their fan club contacted us via Twitter and asked us to go back to these reviews as if they were Linus after Sally took her cover.
I have a friend who teaches at the University of Texas. On their behalf, I demand to know what the lynxes did to be expelled from the Lower Ten. The waiting list is not what they deserve.
– InnocentAbroad (@YYYYGass) 29. October 2020
I agree! Some of the top ten teams lose a game and suddenly win a spot in the #Bottom10? The State of Texas won our ranking by playing five consecutive street games, including games against South Alabama and even more against South Alabama.
– Charlie Baker (@Charlie_Baker04) 29. Oktober 2020
7. US (not C) F (1-5)
The South Florida Bulls blew up the fourth quarter of the Fightin’ Byes Open Date U and are now headed to Memphis, where sources tell the Bottom 10 JortsCenter that the USF official will stop on Beale Street so the team can sing the blues of its 1-5 season.
8. FI(non-A)U (0-3-4)
Yeah, 0-3-4. That’s 0 victories, 3 defeats and 4 deferrals, including the deferral that was the defeat. So maybe it’s actually 0-3-3 or 0-3½ -3½. Whatever it is, it’s a fresh start.
9. Conveyor furnace (0-4)
The windbreak toilet doors will head south to Starquille, Mississippi, to meet more cowbells in the university’s most unexpected pillow fight this season. Pillow fights have always been more important to us. But since the P.F.O.W. first attracted a few SEC schools, it was the first official event, It Just Means More®, the title of which is literally next to a small number of brand name pieces.
10. Sir, Responsible person (1-6)
Just like the last Shifty’s customer who was still grumbling at the bar, Orange flirted with this list all season without success. But at this late hour, they were the last option.
Waiting list : UMess (0-1), Need More Cowbell (1-4), EC Yew (1-4), Hardened Owls (1-3), Pledge of (1-3), Little 4 of the Big 10 (all 0-2), Minute Figure (1-1), Charlotte 2 and 3, Duke of Bedevils (2-5), Illusory Noise (0-2), You-Ta (0-2), Whistling Too Early, COWID-19.